You Tube's Finest

Generally, I am against bashing people that did not willingly put themselves in the spotlight. So the drunken teenager whose friends uploaded a video of on YouTube is off limits to me. But any celebrity, big or small and generally, anyone who cheerfully volunteers a video of themselves doing something even remotely weird well, this is the internet and I'm going to rip you a new one. Which brings us to today's topic. Youtube: Why-Did-They-Allow-You-To-Do-This Edition.

1. Black Out Band - Video Games

Sample lyrics: I don't want to go to school, I just want to be a fool. Just want to play video games, everything else is really lame.

Yep. I would like to think that all the children involved in this video have parents or guardians of some sort and still, no one thought that this might not be a good idea. They all happily sat down when the filming was over, watched this abomination and thought "Wow, this was a great idea, our kids are so gifted"!

2. LFO - Summergirls

Sample lyrics: New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick. And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer...

It's like Cypress Hill met N'Sync, took them out on a date, came back home, made sweet, sweet love, got them pregnant and a few days later, disappeared. N'Sync, heartbroken, wanting nothing more to do with Cypress Hill, felt they had no choice but to have an abortion. 

LFO are said abortion only less musically skilled.

3. Vee - Mix CD

Sample lyrics: Maybe your door is shut, but your heart is still cut, listen, you're meant to be my guy just like a bird is meant to fly. I'm gonna slip my CD under your bolted door and hopefully it'll evoke the feelings you had before.

I won't comment on the voice or the lyrics. If her friends and family haven't made her see what a musical failure she is then nothing I say will make a difference. What I can comment on is the obvious fact that the ex-boyfriend whose feelings she's trying to evoke has flamboyantly turned gay after being with her. I don't blame the dude.

4. CJ Fam - Ordinary Pop Star

Sample lyrics: I want to be an ordinary pop star. I want to be like those normal girls. I want to live a regular life again, like going to school and having good friends. You know, you know what I mean?

Those Arc Music Factory pedophiles should all be shot, these kids should be in therapy and their parents behind bars. That is all.

5. Tonje Langeteig - I Don't Wanna be a Crappy Housewife

Sample lyrics: I woke up one morning and I thought I was young but no, no, no, my youth was gone. I don’t wanna be a crappy housewife that’s why right now, to the disco I go.

You'd better strive to be a good housewife or anything else for that matter because you sure as hell not going to be a singer.

Bottom line: If you know someone who thinks they can sing and insists on making a fool out of themselves on the Internet in their efforts to become a superstar, please kick them in the groin/boobs repeatedly until they agree it's a bad idea. If they still want to do it, lock them up in a room where this is playing non-stop. And if when they come out they still want to do it, let them. I'll take it from there.

And this concludes the Why-Did-They-Allow-You-To-Do-This edition of You Tube epics. When my ears stop bleeding, I'll follow up with the What-Were-You-Thinking edition. Until then, feel free to comment or message me with any suggestions. I don't bite.

Usually.

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