Right, so I'm having the best time here but there is something fucking everything up.

Look at this asshole

I used to be one of those people who like to think they are making a difference if they don't kill a fly but open the window instead and keep shooing it off with a magazine for about 20 minutes until it decides to fuck off because "flies have souls too" but you know what?

They are vicious, malicious and they are all out to get me so fuck flies, they can collectively go die.

Typical motherfucking fly

I hate you.


The power of words

I'm off to the airport! I won't be back until next Saturday but I will try to update the blog during my holiday. Until then...

Be safe.


Women and sharpies

Not everyone is a natural born artist.

My second skin, failure

Our vacation starts tomorrow. I was supposed to do this song and dance about it but I'm in a bad mood because things have a tendency of going wrong exactly when you are not prepared to deal with it. You look away for one second and disaster strikes. 

I can't go into a lot of details but let's just say it sucks being in that middle place of not knowing if you still have a job or not. Especially when the holiday you have been waiting for since last year is now the last thing on your mind but your tickets are non-refundable so you have to go despite the unexpected turn of events. What will happen? You will feel so guilty about everything that your holiday will be ruined because you're not a robot incapable of feelings.


I'm not talking about me but someone really close to me who doesn't deserve this kind of bullshit. If it had been me, everything would make sense. This predicament would have been the universe setting things straight again because, what the hell kind of maniac would give me a job to begin with?

I don't know either

You see, I've been a jobless bum for so long, I'm already in that place where, when I send out a CV, I'm afraid they will call me to arrange an interview. But, they never do so they're saving me the headache of having to take off my pjs, put on real clothes and go socialize with other people. 

I don't want that person to have to go through that. I mean, even I came close to breaking and I'm used to failure by now, it's part of who I am.


Seven months ago, I sent out a CV for a job at one of the two biggest supermarkets in the UK (it shall remain nameless). 

I didn't see that the deadline had ended the previous day so I went through their online assessment process answering questions such as:  

"If you get a call saying you are urgently needed at the store even though it's your day off, what do you do?" (Why, drop everything I'm doing and run to the store to make you more money, big co-operation!) 


"Did you ever lie to your parents as a child?" (Does the person who came up with this shit still have a job?)


After an hour of answering every idiotic question in the book, I pressed "Done". Immediately I got an email saying, that I didn't get the job. I saw that I messed up with the deadline and thought, fair enough, it's my fault and I moved on. 

Two months ago, I found another ad for a job at the same supermarket. I went through all of it again and waited happily for an answer. I didn't have to wait long. Seven seconds later, I got an email informing me that I had applied for another job with their company less than 6 months ago so I wasn't allowed to try for this one. What? But I hadn't even had a chance at getting the first job (that I didn't really like anyway) so now I can't apply for this one (that I really want)?

I know how you feel, you Italian sonofabitch

I vowed never to deal with them again, be it as an applicant or a shopper but when you're skint and hopeless there is no room for idealistic crap like that so my embargo didn't last long. Yesterday I found out they are advertising again. I took a deep breath and started counting the months, just to be sure - April to October, seven. Re-counted. Still seven. Double-checked the deadline - won't be over for another week. So I did it. Polished my answers, told them I am available days, nights, weekends, part-time, full-time, I even threw in a blow-job for the privilege of mopping their floors. Fill out, answer, send, wait. Email

Thank you for your interest in joining the team at Asda, it’s great that you’re so enthusiastic. However, the results of your first application are still valid, as it’s less than 6 months since you last applied.
All the decisions we make about applications are valid for a full 6 months and so unfortunately, as you were unsuccessful the first time, we can't accept any new applications from you for any other roles within this time.
We really appreciate that you’ve taken the time to send us your details again, and we’re sure your determination will pay off very soon. In the meantime, we wish you the very best for the future.