The French, the German and Internet Explorer

We're one month old! Exciting? No, not really but it seemed like a good time as any to look at some statistics so, that's what I did. 

It has been an eye-opening experience.

Not only did I learn that America and the UK seem to like me, I also found out that France doesn't really get me. Why, France? What's wrong with you? Is it that you don't have a sense of humour or that you are too awesome to get upset about anything other than wine and berets? 

Do you really think you are superior? Are you looking down on everyone else? Not cool France, not cool. Please rectify. 

Another sad, sad realization is that, although the Netherlands seem to be in the top 10 of countries that honour me with their page views, Germany and Estonia are nowhere to be seen. That's not good. Why? Because the Internet supports that that's where people who like to call their children Sven live. If you don't visit, how are you supposed to help me find my friend? Germans, I know you don't like wasting your time on trivial things like laughter but I've seen Angela Merkel on the news and you are obviously quite familiar with cynicism and sarcasm so we should have no problem connecting. 

If you find me in some blog directory, please don't let the fact that I'm usually listed in the Humour category keep you from clicking on me. As soon as I have a Sven, you can be excused.

Canada, Greece, Japan, Italy, Spain, Argentina, Australia, you've been here from day one, keep being awesome.

Now for the important part.

Disgraceful

What the hell? If this is an indication that almost 5% of the whole Internet population still uses IE, we can all kill ourselves now. Seriously. Even if that's not the case, what it does show for sure is that 5% of the people visiting my little space of the web are idiots. 

That's it. There is no other reason. If you are one of the people constituting that shameful 5% you might think I'm going to keep calling you names and ask you to fuck off. Well, no. Hopefully, you'll stay and learn something important. 

Internet Explorer is shit. Stop using it. 

Just trust me. I know it might hold some kind of sentimental value to you since this is the first browser you used a million years ago when the Internet first became accessible to the masses but we have come a long way since then and change is not always bad. 

How are you even on here? I use huge pictures and videos to prove my point 95% of the time, how come your computers haven't exploded in your faces yet?

You should be used to this by now

I sincerely hope you know everyone is making fun of you. Now that you are aware of how uncool it is to use the abomination known as Internet Explorer, next month, I expect that percentage to be, at the very least, cut to half; if not for me, for the children. 

No, really. 

Guys? 

Seriously.  

The children.

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